Baby Loss Support
“Every life, no matter how brief, forever changes the world.”
If you are visiting this area of my site, chances are that you have or are experiencing the loss of a child through miscarriage or stillbirth. Losing a child is one of the most tragic and difficult types of loss we can experience. It is a heartache like no other, and my heart hurts for you and with you. When the loss of a child occurs within a pregnancy or first year of life, it is a loss that our society often chooses to quietly sweep away and not discuss. It is just too painful and frightening. Yet, 1 in 4 women have experienced some sort of pregnancy or infant loss. This silence can cause the necessary grieving for many to be a lonely and isolating experience.
This site is not meant to be an exhaustive resource on pregnancy and infant loss. It is merely here to reassure you that what you may be feeling is normal and that you are not alone. It can point you to many more complete resources, especially those here in Central Florida.
My own experience with infant loss began with the miscarriage of my second pregnancy. I did a lot of bargaining with God and blaming myself. I decided to not have any more children for many years even though my heart longed for more.
I was fortunate to be able to later have more children, and I became a doula, midwifery birth assistant, childbirth educator, and birth professional helping parents to resolve birth trauma. Over the years, I worked with couples that had lost previous pregnancies and were now often tentatively celebrating another pregnancy. I understood their mixture of joy and fear, having had experienced pregnancy after a loss.
In June 2014, I experienced “the loss of my birth innocence,” as my beautiful adopted daughter so eloquently put it. She had an unexplained stillbirth at 39 weeks of pregnancy. Five weeks later my dear childbirth client, Nydia, lost her baby, also at 39 weeks of pregnancy, due to a placental abruption. I discovered there is much to learn about the nuances of supporting a family through pregnancy and infant loss. I had indeed been quite innocent for I had not personally had a client experience a stillbirth during their current pregnancy in my fourteen years of practice.
With loss of these sweet babies, as well as the tragic loss of another family member at only eighteen years old the day after our sweet Rowan’s stillbirth, I feel God propelled me into this field where birth, loss, grief, and healing meet. I am a professionally trained Midwife of Thanatology and certified as a Stillbirthday Birth & Bereavement Doula. I am trained in perinatal loss with Resolve Through Sharing Bereavement Services and The Institute for The Study of Birth, Breath, & Death. I am a member of The International Association of Trauma Professionals, International Association Of Counselors & Therapists, The Institute of The Study of Birth, Breath, and Death and PLIDA—Pregnancy Loss & Infant Death Alliance. As an ordained interfaith minister, I am honored to be a Stillbirthday Chaplain in order to more fully serve grieving families.
One of the biggest things I have learned in this journey is that what is comforting to one person, may not be so for another. I have done my best to be gentle with the information here. If something strikes a painful chord within you, please know that is not my intention. I understand that you had to navigate this site to be here now, and that in itself may have been a trigger. My apologies. At this time, I find I can no longer keep birth and death separate--for they are a part of the same continuum of life.
Please remember to be gentle with yourself, there is no right way grieve the loss of your sweet baby.